The Other Side of the Table: What I Learned

I have watched the people on the other side of the table and have admired all the work they do for many, many years. It took me a long time before I even remotely tried to do the simple tasks. I told myself that I was an actor and would only ever be an actor; I don’t have the capacity to do all that pre-rehearsal work! But, a few years later, I found that I was wrong. 

This past spring, I decided to embark on my first directing adventure for a scene I would have directed in a class had COVID-19 not settled upon us. At first, I was hesitant to take on this project outside of the classroom. I don’t have the qualifications to direct anything, let alone a ten page scene and terrific actors! 

Nevertheless, I persisted and created a product that I was proud of and learned so much from. Because of this experience, I will be directing much more in my future. Of course during this process I gleaned many new pieces of information about directing in general and myself as a director, but I have three main takeaways from this experience that are universally applicable. 

Nothing Will Ever Be Perfect...That’s Not Bad

Yes. I wanted the final product to be perfect...so much so that I scheduled three rehearsals a week for an hour each for about six weeks. That equals about 20 hours for a single scene. My standards might be low, but that is a lot of hours for a scene that is about 13 minutes in length. Thank goodness I had a team that stuck with me!

Initially, my method behind this was that I wanted everything just right. I didn’t want a single flaw. I quickly learned and began to appreciate that would not work. The whole reason theatre is so enjoyable and exciting to work on is because of the imperfection. This project reminded me of that. Imperfection is the reason why I love the theatre. After being on the actors side of the table in a college setting, I lost the meaning of imperfection and wanted it out of my work. Experiencing directing has allowed me to see imperfection as a part of the ever-changing process of work in the theatre. 

I have to admit, I did not stray away from giving small, nit-picky notes, but in the end, I developed a much more realistic and appreciative view of my work and the work of the actors whom I direct. 

Nothing in life will ever be perfect, and my art can remind me of this. The imperfection and unknown is what makes life worth living.  

Actors are Most Important

Before this experience, I absolutely dreaded the director that told me in the first rehearsal that he has little to no ideas and would rely on the actors to give him something. I felt this type of lecture in the beginning of a rehearsal process signalled a lazy director. In hindsight, I was wrong. 

When I stepped into the role of director, I knew that I had to have concepts and ideas. Because of this, I planned almost every moment I wanted to have happen all the way down to the little wink of an eye. I soon found out that all my pre-planning was worth something, but not much. 

After the first run through I realized why my directors have said crazy statements like “I work off the actors” or “the actors give me what I need...I have no clue otherwise.” The actors truly are most important in the work. They facilitate every new idea that inspires the director to take action. Every single moment the actors created in the scene caused me to have a reaction which pushed me toward a new discovery. I didn’t realize the product of what I wanted stemmed from the actor and not the director. 

Actors, I promise you, even if you feel as though your ideas are not being used, they are! The director is constantly working off your ideas to find out what he/she wants to progress the scene! You are the seed that creates the flower! You are the most important part. 

The people I work with are the most important part.

It’s Not About the Director

What do you mean? I put all that hard work into creating a piece that I think represents my artistry, the talent of my actors and the message I want to display, and you’re saying it's not about me? 

Well, technically yes, if you think about it that way, it is about you. But, I like to think, as I have discovered, that the finished product is about the entirety of the piece itself and the message it sends. In my process, initially I did think it was about me. I thought that the way that the actors performed was a reflection of my work. I thought that the way that the audio and video connected and performed over ZOOM was a reflection of my work. I didn’t realize that the only reflection of my work is the way that the story is told, and how that influences an audience. 

This is a similar reflection of what an actor goes through. As an actor myself, I find that I am constantly fighting the battle between what is representing me and what is out of my control. I just didn’t realize that the lessons I learned while acting applied to directing as well. 

When I watched the final product on my TV screen with my family, I couldn’t help but squirm in my seat. It was my first stab at something that was completely foreign to me! Of course it was not perfect, but it sent a message and allowed the audience to think about their personal relationships in a time when connections are so important. The scene entertained the idea that maybe we don’t have to be strong for another person. Maybe we can lean on someone else to get us through. 

In the end, I realized the finished product was not about the director. It was about the audience. It was about connection. It was about the message, experience, passion, love, drive and everything else that is not about the director. I think every artist discovers this is the case when they work on a piece. I just wish I would have discovered it a bit earlier in my directing process. 

What did I Really Learn?

Chapter Two by Neil Simon, Act 2, Scene 5 will always hold a special place in my heart. Through directing this scene I learned that life is imperfect and that is ok. The time when you learn the most is when you focus on other people’s actions and words, and the most important part of theatre is the fulfillment of audience connection and storytelling--that is all.