What I Learned in Quarantine: The Actor’s Perspective

Anger and fear. Those are the first emotions I encountered when the Coronavirus began sweeping across America and forced the rest of my Junior year at UWSP online.

How would I manage ACTING classes online? How would I balance the demands of family life while still functioning as a student? Would I be able to continue growing from the confines of my own home? These questions and more arose as I began the journey of COVID-19 learning. 

Now, as the final weeks have passed, I look back on the time spent in total isolation in my home and recognize that this time was a glimpse of what my experience will be like post college. Many of my professors highlighted this time in this exact way during online classes, but I didn’t quite understand the weight of what they were saying. They mentioned things like “How you motivate yourself now is an indication of how you will motivate yourself after graduation,” or “Your choices now can shape how you engage in the future: career, personal life, and beyond.” Well how could my motivation through a global pandemic affect my career down the road? I didn’t understand.

I took those thoughts in, but never processed them...or that I was doing exactly what they said. Looking back, I now understand what they meant, and I can see the result of that motivation and willingness to adapt. It is so deeply important to instill this willingness to grow, even in the face of adversity. The COVID-19 #StayHomeStaySafe has proved to be much more important in my ability to self motivate than I ever thought possible. Being in quarantine has allowed me to spread my wings in ways I never would have done before. 

In quarantine, I learned that letting go and allowing myself to be is just as important as constantly working. Every opportunity I will ever want I can create for myself on my own, of course with the help of some people who also love what they do. However, motivation from others is great, but the key to unlocking my full potential is inside me and only me.

Let Go, Be Present

To say that I feel like my life is moving ahead, and I am running behind it to keep up is an understatement during any “normal” time in my life. COVID-19 made me stop and be present in who I am at that exact moment, calculate what that means and move forward from there. 

I learned that sitting for a week and reading a book I have wanted to read for YEARS is not being lazy, it is being a person. A person needs time to break in order for the creative energy to flow again. It was refreshing to feel myself begin to have ideas and peace of mind while doing something that I once thought was a product of being lazy.

I was able to make the richest choices I have ever made as an actor during this quarantine and mostly in part to, I think, being able to sit with my thoughts without any other distractions. Enjoying things I found entertaining while not having to worry about large amounts of due dates or scene showings allowed me to be fully present in my characters and work in school. 

Allowing myself to let go and be present in the moment is something that made for a well spent quarantine that I will be bringing into life post-quarantine. 

I Can Create My Own Opportunities

I always knew this to be true, but I never took responsibility or ownership of this. I always knew that it was best to create my own opportunities, especially in school, to learn and grow from them. It is the common thought of knowing I should do it, but telling myself I’ll do it “when I have time.” 

Well, I finally had time, and I had no way of making any excuses. So, I did it. I created my own opportunities and worked on things that I told myself I would do months ago. I learned that all the opportunities I want to have are right in front of me. I can NEVER say again that I don’t have the skills for something because I never learned how. I can learn anything I want just by persevering and trying it myself. I can try and fail and try again until I finally figure it out, AND I can be proud of myself along the way. Failure is a part of learning, and creating my own opportunities is going to inevitably include failure. 

Creating on my own allows me to spread my wings and realize that I can do much more than my past opportunities have allowed me. In the future, if I even have the remote idea that I can do something, I should try it and create an experience surrounding that idea, otherwise I will never do it. After all, the only thing that makes me better is experiences. How do I get those experiences? Creating them myself.

My Full Potential is in Me and Only Me

When I was a senior in high school, my motto was that I was not going to go to a school where I couldn’t learn from my peers. While that motto was something that is valid and sometimes very important for an actor’s growth, I have now realized that it does not define my education and what it can offer me. 

Through being forced to not see my peers in action, I have internalized all of my motivation and my standard of “good work” is now coming from me and where I see myself in the future, not from my other peers. Although this might sound unhealthy to some, it is the healthiest mindset I have ever experienced. 

Since quarantine, I have actually raised my standards on the work I produce because the only thing I am comparing my work to is my work. I now know that the motivation to be better and keep improving comes from me and only me. Yes, I can watch one of my amazingly talented friends kill it on stage, and after, say that they are so wonderful and they will go so far. I see them and hope that I can work with them in the future. I may THINK that this is motivating me to improve, but really the only real motivation comes from inside myself. 

Other actors may have various experiences, but I know for myself that my motivation, without a doubt, comes from inside me. I will forever love watching my friends and peers succeed, but consciously I will know that is not where my motivation comes from. The only way for me to grow is to push myself and compare myself to myself, and myself ONLY. 

Quarantine has taken on such a great personal meaning. I will always cherish this time as the 13 weeks of my life where I learned the most about myself, the world around me and the way I work. Nothing will take the place of quarantine; I’m sure we all can agree. My quarantine journey started with fear and doubt and has ended with a bit of self-actualization and motivation to persevere through all adversity whenever possible. This is something I am grateful for.